Been having a bad time dealing with my emotions lately. I don't know if it's because of my menstruation that enhances my feelings even more, or that I have been suppressing my thoughts for a while now. I've mentioned to you guys that I'm gonna go Disney Land USA for internship next year for 4 months. So I would be away from Singapore for 4 - 4.5 months. The longest I have ever been away from home, or from anyone I love. Some more this time, I'm going alone. Not that I mind it that much, but I'm gonna miss everyone so damn much.

This few days, I have been going to school and working lately, I barely see my boyfriend/ I mean we meet before we go work (we work at different stations usually) and also after work, but when we have free time, we are mostly super drained and couldn't really spend time with each other much. I know I know, I'm sort of asking to much. Considering it seems like we two meet one another everyday while other couples don't. But it's like, what he had said before, "We lose ourselves when bonded". I don't feel alright when I'm away from him. I get so homesick / lovesick. Feeling so unhappy or whatsoever. Ya you can say I'm clingy, I'm just so used to being with him all day long, it just doesn't feel right being without him.

Nowadays, I don't have much time to see him. Exams are coming, practicals are coming. Everything is so stressful suddenly. And working? I cannot even see him. Even if I do, it's just for 5 - 10 minutes? I have no idea but think and think. Is this the right choice? Going Disney? Am I even ready for this, are we ready? I can't imagine not being with him for 4 entire months. It's not that long, but to be honest, it's not that short as well. These few days, all I can do at night is cry and cry. I don't even know if I'm ready to deal with all this. All I can think is how much I miss him.

Feeling like shit for being such an emotional fucked up girl.